Thinking about the disco last night, I can equate it to some behaviour I see online...
Why would children think it was ok to act in that manner when they wouldn't do such things at home?
Why do Adults on online forums think it is ok to call others names, cast aspersions upon character and judge people when they don't KNOW the people or their actual circumstances?
What is it that says to us 'it is ok to act inappropriately and bugger the consequences'?
I would dearly love to know why this can be seen as ok because to me it isn't. No matter what.
It was suggested today, that if I don't like something that has been said on the board or if I don't agree - I should ignore it. I will try that although I think what if I applied that same solution to the behaviour I witnessed at the disco last night - the damage would have been a whole lot worse.
What are we doing wrong here? Both with the children and online relationships? Where are our responsibilities? Maybe we should all just turn our backs and walk away when we witness behaviour or read something we don't care for. But then what message does that send? I know but do you?
I found this article online - it is very apt...
Bystanders play a part in bullying behaviour Medical Studies/Trials
Published: Friday, 3-Dec-2004
Bystanders play a part in bullying behaviour
While talk of bullying often focuses on the aggressor and the victim, research from the University of South Australia (UniSA) has found that bystanders play a part in bullying behaviour.
In an international study looking at bullying and harassment in primary and secondary school students, UniSA adjunct researcher, Professor Ken Rigby, says that victimisation most commonly occurs when other people are watching.
And he says that when bystanders step in and speak up, it significantly reduces bullying and harassment. "Unfortunately, only on a minority of occasions do bystanders seek to discourage bullying, but when they do, it actually stops some 50 per cent of the time," Prof Rigby says.
And alarmingly, the study has also found that Australian students are less likely to tell the teacher than any of the groups of students in the five countries taking part in the project, including Bangladesh, England, Israel, Italy and South Africa.
"There's a culture against 'dobbing' here in Australia that needs to be addressed - students need to feel that they are doing the right thing by informing teachers." "These results shows us that anti-bullying programs need to teach students better bystander behaviour, including safe and effective ways of discouraging harassment, as well as informing teachers," Prof Rigby says.
"Anti-bullying programs are the most effective way in which schools and communities can address the problem."
In fact, Prof Rigby has found that when schools get wholeheartedly behind anti-bullying programs, the success rate can be as high as 60 to 70 per cent. "What we have found is that bullying programs can be highly effective, but there needs to be a high level of implementation from the school community - in the classroom, in the playground and at home.
"The programs need to encompass the entire school community, from broader school policy down to classroom interaction, such as discussions with children about bullying, how to access help and provide assistance to others if needed.
"It is clear that the best predictor of success is not the content of the program but the thoroughness of the implementation."
Why would children think it was ok to act in that manner when they wouldn't do such things at home?
Why do Adults on online forums think it is ok to call others names, cast aspersions upon character and judge people when they don't KNOW the people or their actual circumstances?
What is it that says to us 'it is ok to act inappropriately and bugger the consequences'?
I would dearly love to know why this can be seen as ok because to me it isn't. No matter what.
It was suggested today, that if I don't like something that has been said on the board or if I don't agree - I should ignore it. I will try that although I think what if I applied that same solution to the behaviour I witnessed at the disco last night - the damage would have been a whole lot worse.
What are we doing wrong here? Both with the children and online relationships? Where are our responsibilities? Maybe we should all just turn our backs and walk away when we witness behaviour or read something we don't care for. But then what message does that send? I know but do you?
I found this article online - it is very apt...
Bystanders play a part in bullying behaviour Medical Studies/Trials
Published: Friday, 3-Dec-2004
Bystanders play a part in bullying behaviour
While talk of bullying often focuses on the aggressor and the victim, research from the University of South Australia (UniSA) has found that bystanders play a part in bullying behaviour.
In an international study looking at bullying and harassment in primary and secondary school students, UniSA adjunct researcher, Professor Ken Rigby, says that victimisation most commonly occurs when other people are watching.
And he says that when bystanders step in and speak up, it significantly reduces bullying and harassment. "Unfortunately, only on a minority of occasions do bystanders seek to discourage bullying, but when they do, it actually stops some 50 per cent of the time," Prof Rigby says.
And alarmingly, the study has also found that Australian students are less likely to tell the teacher than any of the groups of students in the five countries taking part in the project, including Bangladesh, England, Israel, Italy and South Africa.
"There's a culture against 'dobbing' here in Australia that needs to be addressed - students need to feel that they are doing the right thing by informing teachers." "These results shows us that anti-bullying programs need to teach students better bystander behaviour, including safe and effective ways of discouraging harassment, as well as informing teachers," Prof Rigby says.
"Anti-bullying programs are the most effective way in which schools and communities can address the problem."
In fact, Prof Rigby has found that when schools get wholeheartedly behind anti-bullying programs, the success rate can be as high as 60 to 70 per cent. "What we have found is that bullying programs can be highly effective, but there needs to be a high level of implementation from the school community - in the classroom, in the playground and at home.
"The programs need to encompass the entire school community, from broader school policy down to classroom interaction, such as discussions with children about bullying, how to access help and provide assistance to others if needed.
"It is clear that the best predictor of success is not the content of the program but the thoroughness of the implementation."
9 comments:
Try not to overthink this one, or your head will truly explode.
(((HUGS)))
Caz
So - you've taken onboard yourself the role of "intercepter of the bullying" on this forum....when at best it has a 50% success rate.....and you wonder why you are banging your head against a brick wall???
I think the problem with this is that people have differing opinions of who the bullier and who the victim is........ie just because someone plays the victim doesn't mean they didn't in part instigate the bullying.
You really can't compare it to a disco, I think it can't possibly be helpful to you to be a "champion of a cause" when people will split their opinions like this.....
Like the person above me said - your head will explode and is it worth it??
Remember the Serenity Prayer
God grant me the Serenity, to accept the things I can not change, Courage to change the things I can, and the Wisdom to know the difference.
You are right. Of course you are. Thanks for making it so much clearer.
And no, it is not worth it. You know it and I know it too.
Thanks for popping by!
Thought provoking post here K8 - and I really agree it comes back to each of us taking responsibility. If nobody ever stands up for 'what is right' then the world will be in chaos.
The forum cyber bully is someone who has other "issues" and problems in their lives they cannot fix.
It makes them feel empowered to intimidate,disrespect and bully others whilst hiding behind the anonymity of their computer.
Thanks for that article Kate, it was informative and relevant, and as always your blog is a very enjoyable read.
You are a rare breed Kate, you seem to have the ablility to separate your personal feelings from situations and you always stand up for what you believe is right. Real shame there are not more people in the world like you.
Alison
I think the school yard bullying and cyber bullying are worlds apart. Like anon said banging your head against a brick wall. Cyber bullying is so anonymous either you aren't known or you are not shamed face to face. It probably works in the school yard at the time because the bully is taken aback that someone is standing up to them.
But from what I have seen and read about Cyber bullying it fuels the issue when people try to step in. I've read blogs where people have had threats made against them. It really does get out of hand. I think it is these peoples personalities that makes it some kind of game.
Don't beat yourself up about it I really don't think there is anything you are anyonelse can do to stop the issues.
Sue xx
This may be seen as sucking up (which is not the intention)but Kate .....In my 4 years on 2 forums, you are one of a minority who I have NOT witnessed treat people with disrespect and nastiness. I think that's what you need to focus on ~ despite all that has happened, YOU have remained above it all and not let your morals be comprimised. That takes a strong person and you should be proud of that ~ I would be if I was able to do it!!!
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