going on in my head the past few weeks....hard to put into words but I just feel a 'bit on the outside'.
Does it worry me? Maybe.
I think it is the culmination of a very emotional year so far for me, my family and friends.
There are online shenanigans recently that have really blown my mind with the level of nastiness that has been going on.
I belong to a closed forum but maybe I should say I am a 'member' of a closed forum - questioning lately whether I actually 'belong' there.
Things were said to and about others that really made me question the reason that I am there and this time, I was not really involved. Some people seem to enjoy, and even feed off such nastiness but me? I am so, so over it.
Friends have been commenting lately to me that I have 'lost my spark', that I don't have the witty comebacks that I used to....well I have been thinking about that and the above stuff has been getting me down.
So, I know what I should do...but don't want to as there are some ladies there that I really like but do I like them well enough to stay? Are they real friends that are worth staying for? Would any of these people, who are behind screens and keyboards even notice if I left? Does it really matter to me if they don't?
Does it worry me? Maybe.
I think it is the culmination of a very emotional year so far for me, my family and friends.
There are online shenanigans recently that have really blown my mind with the level of nastiness that has been going on.
I belong to a closed forum but maybe I should say I am a 'member' of a closed forum - questioning lately whether I actually 'belong' there.
Things were said to and about others that really made me question the reason that I am there and this time, I was not really involved. Some people seem to enjoy, and even feed off such nastiness but me? I am so, so over it.
Friends have been commenting lately to me that I have 'lost my spark', that I don't have the witty comebacks that I used to....well I have been thinking about that and the above stuff has been getting me down.
So, I know what I should do...but don't want to as there are some ladies there that I really like but do I like them well enough to stay? Are they real friends that are worth staying for? Would any of these people, who are behind screens and keyboards even notice if I left? Does it really matter to me if they don't?
15 comments:
K8 - you know where you belong - where there is a group who love and cherish you - no matter if you are feeling vibrant or dark and dusty. I don't have to tell you that being around toxic people, well, sometimes it rubs off and makes us feel bad.
Hugs babe - give yourself time...in the meantime we will pick someone else to hand out the party packs...hug!
....a group that misses you when youre not around,where we notice when youre spark is a little less sparkly...a group where you dont have to wear lippy or impress anybody...a group where you can say whatever you feel and wont be jumped on for saying something different to everybody else....and a group where youre more than just a member xxx
If the women in the group really are your friends, they will stay your freinds even if you choose to leave the group. That's what email is for! If it's not good for your soul, then it's time to hit the door.
(((HUGS)))
PS Remember, there is another group out in cyberspace that loves you and misses you!
You don't have to make any decisions Kate, take some time out and see how it feels. It really is understandable that you feeling flat, you have had so much going on this year.
Oh Kate I am so sorry you are feeling this way but i can totally relate as i have been feeling much the same way too.Rest assured I would definately miss you (a lot)and would hope we would remain in touch regardless.I hope its just one of the many bumps in the road that we have had at that place and that you'll be feeling better about it soon.Love to you.Kaz xox
Couldn't have said it better, Lynda. You know who loves you, Kate! We do! Sorry to hear that you are feeling flat. Hmmmm....maybe you need a holiday up north...somewhere where there are beaches and sunshine and wonderful friends! ;)
K8 we will wait for the spark, the wit and the humour to return to your "finger steps"... We are here to listen, to laugh and to share.
You have been through so much this year - give yourself the time you need...
You know, all of you who have responded are such great chicks that have helped keep me sane! Thank you all so so much!
You have helped to make me feel better and loved. Hugs right back at ya!
Kate ~ you have been through SO MUCH in 4 months and whilst I cannot comment on the forum, I can say that you are a fabulous person and one whom I would go to if I wanted an honest, well thought out opinion. Just don't make too many decisions whilst you are feeling flat ~ thinking of you x
Vanessa - that's the problem - not many of the people involved think about others feelings or how what is said affects others at all.
Lately, as far as I am concerned, I think the people involved have all just thought it is about 'me, me me' (and by that I mean they only think about it from their point of view). I believe that shows no empathy, no forethought and utter selfishness, particularly when this is all pointed out to people involved at the time.
You should have posted the comment that you sent to me privately here - it was fantastic, great to read and shows that you may have finally realised what the ripple effect has been. Anyway - thanks for stopping by.
k8
I'm more than happy to do that Kate, as my intention has NEVER been to hurt people who have done nothing to me.
"I just read your blog and needed to send a quick message. I am so sorry that I have contributed to your sadness in the past months. I fully admit, when replying to my blog etc, I was so focused on how I was feeling about everything but I never once stopped to think how it was affecting others that I like and respect ~ you being one of them. That was wrong.
I hope that things pick up for you and we can continue to have the occasional (or more frequent if you feel like it LOL) chat on MSN etc. I’m not exactly sure why but my whole perspective on what has happened of late has changed in the past few days ~ I actually think it was the nastiness that was directed to Carrie that made me sit back and ask wtf is going on here? Then, my mum rang up really upset about it all (after reading my blog) and we had a looooooooong talk about everything.
Anyway, take care of YOU and please stay in touch"
I meant it too Kate ~ I was too focussed on me and the people who were causing me harm.
Totally agree Karen she needs to come up where the sun shines all the time :) We would love to have you up here anytime.
I'm so sorry that this has affected you so much. It has been a huge year hasn't it. You know who your good friends are and they will always be there for you forum or no forum. Bur really I do think you will be missed there and those gorgeous kids of yours. But you need to do what's right for you and your family and start to enjoy life again.
You know I'm always here when you need a chat or a whinge or a cry or a laugh.
Big Hugs to you.
Sue xx
Hi Kate,
i came across your blog from Sue's.
I just wanted to let you know that I am so sorry about your puppy.
I hope that you regain your spark soon.
Even though I don't know you I hate to hear that people are sad.
I am sure that the it will blow over and you will start to feel better soon.
I for one would definitely miss you!
BIG Hugs, K8
sylvia xx
Sheesh must have missed this Kate, sort of how I feel about it really. I always feel like what I say is taken the wrong way. I think you should be able to say 'I think the things you are doing are wrong' without getting jumped on for bringing it up on the forum?
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