Sim and Zachary in August. She was Zachary's Sponsor for his Confirmation.
My friend is called Simone. We have a coffee every weekday morning together after school drop off and before I need to be at work. It is amazing how much talking we can fit into 30 minutes really. We both love a chat.
Over the last two years we have become really close. I have never needed to have a best friend as I find my friends all fullfil different aspects of my life - I guess I know Simone really well and she knows me. Amazing what sharing 30 minutes of your life a day does over two or three years.
Anyway, she is 41 the mother of two boys aged 11 and 13 and has a gorgeous husband called Stephen.
She is a hard worker, does everything for the men in her life (yes, she even irons their UNDIES!) I am the antithesis of her - she is a neat freak, I am a fucking grot. She cleans non stop - I do not. I guess we do have something in common - we love our families. (oh and we LOVE to say Fuck a lot! ROFL)
Anyway, she has had a different life from me. Father left her mother when her sister was 1 year old (Sim was 3.) With love, hard work and help, the girls turned out well. Her mother is fabulous! There were some tragedies and hiccups along the way but in general - life was good.
On Monday night, she finds a lump. Doesn't tell Stephen. Tells me at coffee in the morning. She is beside herself. She goes home and tells Steve, makes an appointment at her GP and off they go. GP says that it is 10% chance it is cancer - unlikely due to her age but to be on the safe side - he gets her to go to see a specialist. She is seen the next day (Tuesday). She is sent to have an MRI and mammogram as well that day. Specialist says on Wednesday, oh yes, it looks like it is cancer and you need to go for a Core Biopsy and ultrasound tomorrow and then come and see him for the results on Monday.
After the core biopsy and ultrasound are done - they say to her oh we are sending this now to emergency pathology. She rings me, distraught. I say that must be because it is the weekend coming up so he can have the results in time on Monday.
Stupid me.
A phone call at around 11.45am this morning, please come and see the specialist now. Steve and Sim go and get the news. Cancer > mastectomy > Chemotherapy. 75% chance that it hasn't spread anywhere else.
She had blood tests today, is booked in for a bone scan and CT scan next Thursday. Mastectomy and reconstruction to happen within the next two weeks.
Her mother is devastated. We all are. Her two boys - well it is hard to even comprehend how they are feeling. I mean, I can't work out how I am feeling! She is strong at times, vulnerable at others - but all the time thinking of her 3 guys, her mother, her sister who is due with her 3rd baby in 6 weeks, she is thinking of me, my kids, Stan. How are we all?
I have called a couple of our good friends tonight to break the news. It is very draining being the news breaker. My eyes are swollen. They feel gritty. I have been good up until today. Strong for her. I didn't cry too much the first few days - but today - gee - it is waterwork city! Tonight I went for a drive by myself for a couple of hours. Just went nowhere.
Today, I went to see her mother. That was so hard. We just held eachother and cried. Cried for a lot of things I think. For the unknown. For the future.
We will tackle this one step at a time.
Please keep her in your hearts.
Over the last two years we have become really close. I have never needed to have a best friend as I find my friends all fullfil different aspects of my life - I guess I know Simone really well and she knows me. Amazing what sharing 30 minutes of your life a day does over two or three years.
Anyway, she is 41 the mother of two boys aged 11 and 13 and has a gorgeous husband called Stephen.
She is a hard worker, does everything for the men in her life (yes, she even irons their UNDIES!) I am the antithesis of her - she is a neat freak, I am a fucking grot. She cleans non stop - I do not. I guess we do have something in common - we love our families. (oh and we LOVE to say Fuck a lot! ROFL)
Anyway, she has had a different life from me. Father left her mother when her sister was 1 year old (Sim was 3.) With love, hard work and help, the girls turned out well. Her mother is fabulous! There were some tragedies and hiccups along the way but in general - life was good.
On Monday night, she finds a lump. Doesn't tell Stephen. Tells me at coffee in the morning. She is beside herself. She goes home and tells Steve, makes an appointment at her GP and off they go. GP says that it is 10% chance it is cancer - unlikely due to her age but to be on the safe side - he gets her to go to see a specialist. She is seen the next day (Tuesday). She is sent to have an MRI and mammogram as well that day. Specialist says on Wednesday, oh yes, it looks like it is cancer and you need to go for a Core Biopsy and ultrasound tomorrow and then come and see him for the results on Monday.
After the core biopsy and ultrasound are done - they say to her oh we are sending this now to emergency pathology. She rings me, distraught. I say that must be because it is the weekend coming up so he can have the results in time on Monday.
Stupid me.
A phone call at around 11.45am this morning, please come and see the specialist now. Steve and Sim go and get the news. Cancer > mastectomy > Chemotherapy. 75% chance that it hasn't spread anywhere else.
She had blood tests today, is booked in for a bone scan and CT scan next Thursday. Mastectomy and reconstruction to happen within the next two weeks.
Her mother is devastated. We all are. Her two boys - well it is hard to even comprehend how they are feeling. I mean, I can't work out how I am feeling! She is strong at times, vulnerable at others - but all the time thinking of her 3 guys, her mother, her sister who is due with her 3rd baby in 6 weeks, she is thinking of me, my kids, Stan. How are we all?
I have called a couple of our good friends tonight to break the news. It is very draining being the news breaker. My eyes are swollen. They feel gritty. I have been good up until today. Strong for her. I didn't cry too much the first few days - but today - gee - it is waterwork city! Tonight I went for a drive by myself for a couple of hours. Just went nowhere.
Today, I went to see her mother. That was so hard. We just held eachother and cried. Cried for a lot of things I think. For the unknown. For the future.
We will tackle this one step at a time.
Please keep her in your hearts.
5 comments:
Oh k8 that is just awful! I am so so sorry. Probably you both being so close is so much harder, everything is fine one morning and then the next. I think she is lucky to have you as a close friend as I know you will be there for her when she needs it. I am praying that it hasn't spread for her and they are able to get it all.
Big Hugs
Sue xx
My heart breaks for you today for there is a very difficult journey ahead for you kate, one that will be filled with uncertainty. Sometimes our lives work in ways in which even we don't understand, somebody is obviously looking after Simone because they sent her you a few years ago.
What little I know of you kate I have a strong impression that you would be a loyal, dedicated and caring friend, someone who would be there no matter what the circumstances. Someone who would willingly go down the road less travelled to help a friend. I have a special friend like this and my world would be a much lesser place without her, in fact I could not imagine my world without her.
Somehow you will get through this, probably with a few tears, a bit of laughter and a whole lot of hope, and in my heart I think if anyone can, you will be the person that can turn some of the bad, awful things into some sort of positive. I will be thinking of you over the next few weeks and even though I don't pray often, I will pray for Simone and her family and for you.
Oh Kate, I am sorry to hear this news about your friend :o( Life can just be so unfair sometimes!
My SIL got breast cancer 2 years ago and she is now in remmission. I hope and pray that Simone will pull through this.
((((Big Hug))) for you and take care.
Jodie x
K8 I just read this sweetheart :( I am so sorry to hear about your close friend. I hope she is doing ok with it all (you too!) It must be terrifying for everyone but so many women get through it now and the survival rates are so much higher than they used to be.
Thinking of you all
xx
Kate I am so sorry to hear this about your special friend. I will keep her in my prayers and hope for the best. My bridesmaid was diagnosed with breast cancer this year, as my Nan. My bridesmaid was extremely lucky that they took the lump. lymph nodes, and after an intense radiation treatment she has been give the all clear. My Nan has had a mastectomy only 6 weeks ago. Because of her age they didn't do reconstructive surgery. The one thing I have found is that There are so many information support networks for Simone. I know my bridesmaid had information sent to Nan before her op, so that she could be aware of things post op. Simone will be sore, and need physio to regain movement in her arm. She may have some loss of feeling in her arm from them moving nerves to get to affected area. So hunny I know you will be a tower of support for her, but if you need any extra information- then just sing out
My prayers are for Simone, her family and for you her special friend.
Love Jacq xxx
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